The Short Version
I'm an oculoplastic surgeon with a wife, adopted kids from diverse backgrounds, and a lot of opinions about what actually matters in life.
I spent the first half of my career chasing achievement, thinking the next win would finally make me feel like enough. Medical school. Residency. Fellowship. Practice. Each milestone promised satisfaction and delivered a brief dopamine hit followed by the need for a bigger goal.
Spoiler: it didn't work.
The Longer Story
I grew up in a small town in Florida. Went to college in New Orleans for music, then switched to chemistry when I realized I could work really hard to be as good as the best percussionists and still have a semi-marketable skill competing against everyone else who loves drums.
Medicine felt like a secure route. Input correlates with output. Work hard, get results. I was good at competing, and medicine rewards competition. What I didn't realize was that I was building my entire identity on performance.
"You don't have complete peace about anything when you're young. You just have raw testosterone and you know just go making decisions."
Somewhere in my forties, after some difficult seasons including fertility struggles and a rough patch in my marriage, something shifted. I started seeing that the trap I wanted my kids to avoid was the one I was currently in.
The transformation involved therapy, spiritual direction, and a lot of honest examination of where I'd been placing my worth. I discovered that most of my anxiety came from trying to maintain an identity I had to keep earning.
What I Learned
Your value is already set. Not by your achievements or failures. Not by comparison to others. Not by the market or your followers or your productivity. By God. Before you did anything to earn it.
That's not a comforting platitude. It's a fundamental reorientation. When your worth is secure, you can work without striving. You can fail without spiraling. You can rest without guilt.
I started making content for people in their twenties who are figuring this out earlier than I did. Because I wish someone had told me before I spent decades on the treadmill.
Why Egolytic
The name comes from "ego-dissolving." Not destroying the self, but releasing the death grip on an identity you have to constantly earn and defend.
Everyday egolysis is the goal. Relinquishing the throne of your identity to the One who created you. It's the most freeing thing I've ever experienced.
I'm not here to sell you a system or build a personal brand empire. I'm just saying what I wish someone told me. If it helps, great. If not, that's fine too. Your value doesn't depend on whether you agree with me.
Connect
I post content on TikTok and Instagram. It's mostly short-form video about identity, purpose, and escaping the achievement trap. If any of this resonates, you can follow along there.